The day we discovered....the big " D Word"

 The first day of McKenna's life, she was perfect. 10 fingers and 10 toes. We could not have been more happy. That evening she underwent hearing screen and failed. At that time, we were informed it was probably just fluid and she would come back. She did, and again McKenna failed. I was terrified.... How could this happen? It's my perfect baby!

Two weeks later she was screened again ( another fail) but by then I knew there was something off. She was not responding as her sister had.....as I knew she should. On May 7th, we received official diagnosis.McKenna had profound hearing loss on the left, and severe loss on the right. She was deaf. She was deaf and I couldn't fix it. She was deaf and I didn't know why.

After the crying( not going to lie, several days of that) we got to work. Research, calls, you name it. The right ENT, the right audiologist. Appointment after appointment.

So now, here we are.McKenna's deafness is likely caused by CMV, a virus I contracted during pregnancy. There are so many unknowns for her in regards to long term hearing and educational abilities.

There are so many more questions still to be answered. What will we do about the hearing loss? Has she had any brain involvement? Sign or no sign? Mainstream school? Deaf school? Who to see? We are lucky that my job offers me the opportunity to have access to the best in the field. Still, the choices are overwhelming.

What I do know is that our baby is not broken. She is not lesser. While we will do everything in our power to be sure she gets the help and care she needs, I don't ever want her to consider herself in any way inferior to her hearing peers.

So stay tuned. With her sister at her back, and those bright baby blue eyes, I can tell it is going to be a wild ride.